Joie !

I have something to look forward to next year.

Next year's World Cup.


I have a warm fuzzy feeling telling me that France got through. Though I'm not sure.



Yes, I'm well aware that Thierry Henry did a handball somewhere in the match, but that's all none - for now. If Les Bleus did get through, then I know that the World Cup is gonna be more than watchable.

Incroyable.

You know what seems to be the quote of the moment over here ?

"Whenever an internationally-renowned stage performer comes to Malaysia on a concert tour and some parties immediately condemn him/her for the dressing/performance, saying that it defies moral logic and whatnot, a puppy dies of a heart attack."

Bear in mind that I intentionally said "puppy".

The biggest flop right now is that Beyoncé's concert has been postponed over "personal reasons". Bah ! She's probably thinking "Why the hell are some people so stupid to even comment on dressing and morals ?"

Everyone knows full well that at certain points in time, we need to let our hair down. And in the media, there's no stopping showy clothes. But just where is the line between acceptable and indecent ? If you're going to call a simple tank top indecent, then I've seriously no idea what to say. If you're going to call for a ban because of all this junk, then I say, these aren't the only things to be banned. You'll have to :

*ban the Final Fantasy series.

*ban the Kingdom Hearts series, even if you know that it's rated Everyone 10+.

*ban several children's movies, particularly those from Disney and Nickelodeon.

*ban Grey's Anatomy and several other TV series.

*ban American Idol.

*practically place a ban on everything, because like it or not, people have the prerogative of wearing sleeveless tops.

At the end of the day, who loses out ? Our own nation does, because of a select few people who don't know what it means to flaunt it just for a stage performance. It's not like they wear these clothes everyday (unless you're talking about tank tops and sleeveless stuff - that, I wear everyday too). Instead of fighting over dress codes, which those artistes yearn so much to know about, why don't you guys focus on promoting Malaysia as THE concert destination of the world ? No, I believe, at this rate, we'd already be gone to the dogs.

Meanwhile, I haven't lost sight of returning to Malaysia on a concert tour if I do realise my greatest dream of becoming a recording artiste, touching hearts and moving mountains. I'm definitely not going to play explicit like Mylène Farmer, but I'm going to define the line of acceptable. And if there's anyone who wants to stop me, I'll tell them, here and now, shut your big potty mouth and move the hell aside.

Thoughts ?

It’s late in the night, and as I sit down and contemplate on the one year and a half that has just gone by, it’s been the most eventful period of my life. And I pray God that I may never go through such a harrowing experience ever again.

I don’t know whether to feel excited or to fear the worst – for now. I beat my drums in solitude yesterday, knowing full well that this could very well be the last time I beat out the rhythm inside me before having to go for my National Service stint.

My Contract law exam is on Thursday morning, and despite having gone through the book like, three or four times, I’m still anxious as to how they might word the questions. Will it be difficult like 2008 ? Or will they relent ?

I’m still thinking about the few memorable events that define this period of one and a half years.

Being in the teachers’ room in the Alliance Française, going through my spoken test, and ultimately doing it well.
Seeing mom seated by my side as I played the drums.
Singing my heart out during the French-speakers’ reunion on Saturday night.
Composing Impromptu Huit Vingt-Sept.
Meeting two new friends.
Classes with Ms Meera, Ms Barclay and Soleil.
The concert with Ms Susan’s students at that concert hall in Kelana Jaya.
Lunches at KL Sentral.
My very first coloured journal.

I’d never want to erase these thoughts from my memory for a long time.

Toi qui n’as pas su me reconnaître…

Quoting some words of comfort from a friend :

"Fine, so you mentioned their names. And so ? You didn't mean any harm to them, and that's what matters. In life, you can't please everyone. If there are people who don't understand and accept you for what you truly are, even if you've made mistakes like, three or four times, they don't deserve to be called your friends. They don't deserve to obtain your respect. Let go !"

Well, I can't possibly let go of the situation entirely, but it has helped make my conscience clearer. I truly did not mean any harm. Now, I have discovered the true purpose of blogging, and placing it in public, all thanks to that friend of mine : people go in and out reading the information and the ramblings that are contained within it. Being a blog, it has to be an opinionated recount of things. Anything, for that matter, is an opinionated account of things ! And if people can't see through the thoughts that run in my head, the stream of consciousness that springs forth, then they will most likely retaliate. And when they do this, they do not understand me.

It is through troisnyx* officiel that I have discerned for myself who my real friends are.

On another note, another friend has celebrated her birthday. I hope it's not too late to wish her... Happy and blessed birthday to you, ma petite. If you must part ways with me, then I guess, you do this for your own good, although I'd be even happier if we could walk side by side once more. Farewell.

The one sad thought that creeps into a Wikia editor's mind

Wikimarkup can be deadly.

No, I mean it, Wikimarkup can be deadly. I've been pulling my hair out, I've been having fits of anger, all for a stupid page.

One of the weirdest (but most refreshing) conversations on KHWiki

The conversation took place at Kingdom Hearts Wiki:Pages for Deletion, and the article in question was "Across Two", a grammar error for "Two Across", one of the weapons in the Kingdom Hearts game. Usernames will be used (as this is a conversation done entirely in jest).

Ultima The High Seraph : No content on this page, and I'm sure it's got nothing to do with KH.
Evilgidgit : I think it is a mistook grammar error for the Keyblade, Two Across.
troisnyxetienne : I feel it is so...
BebopKate : Deleted is article. Hard is talking backwards !
troisnyxetienne : That had to be done by you, right ?
BebopKate : ^_^ About talking you're what know don't I.
troisnyxetienne : Backwards talking meant I. Count didn't voice passive know didn't I.

I can't help but laugh when I see this conversation every time I pass by the Deletion discussions.

That's one of those things which actually does make my day. Thanks, guys.

Random thoughts

It's past the 21st of March. Springtime is here. And......... ? Well, that isn't really much of an event over here, as summer is eternal.

On another note, everyone's getting gung-ho over the exams. In class we've already started counting down the number of weeks - or even days - to the exams, which begin in late May. I don't know how I must revise for this : I did balance my studies with Wikitranslating, music and sketches, and I prayed every night for help, and I must say I did my AS pretty okay. But now, I want to do it well. I don't know if there still is time... no, there still is time. But am I..... *gulp* late ?

Oh, par mes moustaches ! J'suis en retard, en retard, en retard !

Seriously, I wonder where and when there will be any form of respite for me.

Question de... heu, questions

Today, someone called the house to conduct a telemarketing survey.

I kinda felt pity for the young girl at the other side of the line (it was mentioned in Business class once that call receptionists get the worst treatment from customers, ever !), and so I took part. Hoping that it would help me bring home some Business Studies tips for my friends and me, I relented.

Believe it or not, I actually had fun. ^_^

I was laughing along with the surveyor, helping her with problems in pronouncing - or spelling - my username (when asked to give my email ID), and...... the questions in the computerised list actually piqued my interest. Perhaps it could've been the way she asked them - but her pronunciation wasn't very accurate. Anyhow. I enjoyed myself. It was a refreshing afternoon. Thank you, Ms Surveyor (if you happen to read this post), for brightening up this mundane, cloudy day.

Indecisiveness

Chant Duchemin.
Matinée.
Chant Duchemin.
Matinée.

J’ai enfin décidé – Chant Duchemin !
Non……. En tout bien réfléchi : Matinée !

See how indecisive I can be. Till now I haven’t decided whether to work on Chant Duchemin first, or Matinée first. Anyway. Time to nap.

Have I told you lately...

...that no matter what we've been through, I love you ?
...that I understand how broken you are inside ?
...that no matter what I have said, or what I've done, I cherish you ?

Come, hug me - if you feel lonely.

Necessity is the mother of invention - er, audacity

Note to self : Necessity gives me the audacity to do just about anything.

I arrived at college at about 12:15 and rushed into the computer lab. There was the usual group of big, burly college sophomores reserving the PC with admin capabilities. With my usual timidness I would never be able to confront them and ask them if I might use it.

But today......

I walked right up to them and asked them boldly, "Is that PC over there in use ? Please may I use it ? I've got an assignment to submit today."

I had to. Joanne, Adoravelle, Deepa and Talitha were to meet me in the PC lab to discuss the Business Studies presentation (Talitha's here with me now) and I couldn't possibly tarry around. And believe it or not, those big burly guys graciously left !

A goddamned depressing night

I went out with dad and Narin on what I had hoped to call a good bargain-hunting experience, but it was a total flop and I came back home, as depressed as ever. But before I even went into the marketplace, I stocked up on stationery at Popular Bookstore (which was actually going to close in fifteen minutes !).

I made an observation while going across the Petaling Street stretch. The recession was obviously nigh.

The marketplace was almost empty (except for a few people, mostly tourists, walking past) and business was so bad that vendors were trying their very best to woo people who came to their stalls (but to no avail).

The shops at the side were mostly empty. Petaling Street, as I know it, used to be so crowded at one point. Now the economy crisis has hit Malaysians hard, so much so that no one actually wants to buy anything !

Over there, I just bought a few tees. I was scouting for a pink pair of shoes but I couldn’t find any. Most of the designs were cheesy or bulky, and whenever there was a perfect shoe, they didn’t have it in my size (I wear size 8 shoes – continental size 42, if I’m not mistaken). Dejected, we left.

Then we saw a supermarket nearby. Uda Ocean. Time for some bargain hunting, we thought. Narin and I browsed all the shirts, but few were of my taste. And to my horror, the perfect shirts – those which I liked – were either too thin or too small ! There was one tee – it was white, it had a brown overcoat and the words “Paris, ville lumière” on it along with a few phrases in (grammatically correct) French – that really caught my attention (and defined me rather well) but the fabric was just too thin.

And this shirt – I wanted it, goddamn it ! Turned out to be too small, and they didn't have it in bigger sizes. It’s Narin’s now.

Gah, this night has been too depressing. I need something to lift my spirits up. All the same, I thank him for taking us out.

In case you’re all wondering what my taste is when I buy tees, note : I buy tees in shades which are striking and eye-catching (lime green is an example). I hate pastel shades and unflattering shades, and I hate pinstripes even more. I loathe expanded chest regions – they make me look fat. If there is a shirt with horizontal stripes, it has to be body-hugging (or else it’ll make me look fatter than ever). I like designs which go well with the main colour of the tee, and which are not too glittery or cheesy. And because I have too many pink shirts in my closet, I’m searching for other shades.

Brokenness makes us stronger ?

Fragmented versions of comments on my first post on a fan-made sequel to the Kingdom Hearts series, KHLegacy :

Xiggie : Wow, is there anyone here who hasn't lost a friend/family member ?

troisnyxetienne : I guess we're all acquainted with loss, to varying degrees. I've already had three losses in my immediate family. On the surface of it, we may appear to be cool and able to maintain our composure, but inside, we're all broken. Suffering is inevitable, of course, but it makes us stronger. When we do write the plot in KHLegacy, somehow or other, this brokenness will surface - and we have to make readers/members aware of it. I want it to be more than just a fan sequel : I want it to be a story that touches hearts.

While some people dismiss Kingdom Hearts as a cartoonish game because of the presence of Disney characters, I look at it from the Square Enix point of view : the emotional viewpoint. I take a stand where I can view and dissect every form of human interaction. My knowledge of English literature (or any form of literature, for that matter) makes me appreciate life more, and it is through this appreciation that I play or visualise each scene, second by second, I replay that scene (or I picture it again), and I ponder upon the emotions of each character, as well as the thoughts that may have crossed their minds.

There was one episode in the Olympus Coliseum where Auron (from Final Fantasy X) had been controlled by Hades, Lord of the Underworld, and his soul was placed in a statuette. Sora, Donald and Goofy set out to find it - and when they did, they actually got to feel Auron's thoughts - oh, the horror they felt ! I played Final Fantasy X so I can imagine what the real Auron would've felt. Picture this : Auron journeyed with two of his best friends, Jecht, and the summoner Braska, in a quest to seek the truth about their homeland, Spira. Jecht and Braska were both killed. Auron had almost lost the drive to live. Those thoughts would've played in Auron's mind in that particular episode in Kingdom Hearts II. One loss is devastating enough ; what about two ?! And Auron tells himself "You must live !" no matter how broken he is inside.

On another note, take one of my previous posts where I wrote about Goofy's apparent death. No matter how cheesy the person may be - ultimately, if that person is kind and has done a great deal, he will be sorely missed. Donald, Sora and Mickey could have, at some point in time, been turned off by Goofy's... er... goofing around. The English version shows a dejected Sora (voiced by Haley Joel Osment) saying "This is not happening. It can't be happening... it can't..." while the French version makes it more emotional : we have Sora (Donald Reignoux) almost crying.

Now, to take this story of losses to a personal level : I've suffered three losses. Many a time I've felt that I was at the end of my rope. I confided in my best friends Kiran, Adoravelle, Kimberly and Nithya - and all of them, no matter how they put it, somehow seemed to tell me the same thing :

Brokenness makes us stronger.

I forgot who it was who wrote the poem "Elegy in a Country Churchyard" (I don't even know if that's the right title even), but he did mention that the sufferings of the poor man and the sufferings of the rich man are all the same. We are born, we lose our celestial light, we are accustomed to the practices of our ancestors, we attempt to survive (out there, it's a survival of the fittest), we build relationships - and they are broken, we lose loved ones, we do not gain enough for our efforts... Some stories end happily, some stories end in despair. All of us want a happy ending, a reason to die for... to make life beautiful.

Xiggie (Sigfried) lost his father. And I know quite a few people who have lost a parent in their teens (or in their childhood). My heart goes out to them - and while writing for KHLegacy (and while writing my songs, in the meantime), I want to spread a message about the suffering of humankind.

Terima kasih (or, There still is some hope in this world)

Today, during the break in between Tort law class, God made something beautiful happen.

It so happened that Nithya and I went to the nearby 7-Eleven to get some snacks (I'm abstaining from ice-cream and I'm planning to extend that to chips too, by the way). So when we came out and headed back to the Koponas* building, we were rather tired after doing so much walking - not only did we walk to 7-Eleven, but also to KL Sentral for lunch - we made a few trips here and there. So we decided to take the lift.

The lift was still on the third floor.

When the lift came down, there was a family inside. I think there were about five or six people inside. Nithya and I held the lift.

And much to our surprise (and delight), the children looked at us with wide-open eyes and said, "Terima kasih" (Malay for thank you).

We both smiled back.

While in the lift, my usually talkative nature died down, it gave way to a pensive silence.

I'm impressed not only with the children, but also the parents of those children - they brought their kids up pretty well. Their manners were impeccable. And also, with their childlike innocence, they know how to appreciate the good deeds people around them do. With the kind of stress we people of Kuala Lumpur go through during rush hour, how many people would stop and say a simple thank you, let alone smile and give a nod of appreciation ? Hardly anyone does that.

But today, the simple gesture of these children gave me the realisation that there still is some form of hope in this world. Just yesterday, I was crying alone at the computer table, hoping that God would give me some form of hope. Today, He gave it to me - through the act of some two or three young children.

Praise Him.

Sometimes, I wonder if the campaign for courtesy (which was actually launched some two years ago) made a difference. To most Malaysians, it didn't. I mean, of course, to many school-going children and teenagers, it did. But the elders, especially those of Generation Y, don't seem to be affected by it. Oh well...

*KOPONAS = Koperasi Pos Nasional = National Post Cooperation. Brickfields Asia College has classrooms on the first and second floor of the Koponas building.

If only

The person whom I was following finally followed me on Jeunesse.

Now, if only this lyrics fail could be resolved.

Translation fail

Just when I was about to crumble in my despair, I remembered that I had to attempt to translate Jeunesse back into English, for some faithful readers to view the conversation between Thierry and me. And so I did. And my gosh, look what I found !

The French text is in the speech bubbles.

What it should have been :

troisnyxetienne: it's just a draft.

What it turned out to be :

troisnyxetienne is just a draft.

What it should have been :

troisnyxetienne: I have one already, in digital form, but how do I send it (to you) ?

What it turned out to be :

troisnyxetienne: I am already in digital form - but how do you send ?

This reminds me of Kingdom Hearts II's Space Paranoids, where Sora and company enter in digital form. Imagine me with circuits and stuff !

What it should have been :

I wrote this song a few years ago, but I finally put it in audio a few weeks ago.

What it turned out to be :

I wrote this song there's a few years, but I finally put in a few weeks there's audio.

OMG. I can't stop laughing. I know Maaji's looking at me as though I'm crazy. Someone, please get me a glass of water and stop me from this incessant laughing. :D

I'm looking forward...

I'm looking forward...

to Literature class.
to the two-hour break.
to talking to Ms Meera.
to seeing my friends.

Everything.

Except Tort class.

Why they were right about saying the world is flat

I wonder if back in the old days (as in really, really old days) people were imprisoned for saying that the earth is a spheroid planet. Well, for those who actually said that the world is flat, they were right in saying it.

I'm not saying that the earth is literally flat.

Thing is, when I thought of this, I hadn't read The World Is Flat by Thomas L. Friedman.

The world seems to be flat because information and gossip travel at a very fast pace. What happens in one corner of the world can be found out at the other corner within a matter of seconds. That would be characteristic of a flat planet, not a spheroid one. And some of us night owls will even defy time zones just to get more information or meet more friends - a flat planet would ignore time zones too.

Our world map is flat too, despite the fact that its edges are curvy and all.

Now, try to picture this : if a ship were to sail on a flat planet, what'd happen at the edge ? Will it topple over ?

Well, let's be thankful that not a single ship will ever topple over. But at the rate things are going, we are bound to topple over. Civilisation is bound to topple over and give way to inhumanity. No nation is ever complete without its share of political woes, crime, economic instability and social issues. We've seen bad things around the world. We've seen worse things in Malaysia.

I, like many others, have been affected by all these things and even if I hope against all hope, if our leaders - I'm talking about every single world leader - if our leaders don't make the change, pronto, and still continue with their woeful ways, then we'll all topple over, as we would on a flat plane !

A short sojourn

I'm in Ipoh (to be precise, in Narin's place), awaiting everyone's return - so that Narin, dad and I can go back home.

We spent the night celebrating dad's birthday (the pictures are with Narin, and I'm thinking of keeping them to myself). Oh, and the amount of times dad said "Thank you" - he was overwhelmed ! I reckon that he said it at least fifteen times.

As for me, I'm here, with a veeeeeeeryyyyyyyyyy sloooooooowwwwww Internet connection (so slow to the point that most pages load with "https://" instead of "http://"), with an incessant urge to drum, and no pyjamas. I actually had to borrow Jasvin's pyjamas yesterday night.

Dad's car tyre got all flat - it was punctured by a nail - yet again - this is, I think, the fourth time ever since he parked his car in the open-air parking lot near our place - and we spent at least two hours looking for a car service centre so we could change that tyre, and get a new spare tyre. The spare tyre we used back there was quite old - at least a year old - and we were scared that it'd give way. So we went and searched for a service centre.

We ended up using the wrong way and landed into the SMART tunnel - for the very first time. After an exhiliarating ride, we ended up in Jalan Sultan Ismail. We searched for shops in the heart of KL but to our dismay, all of them - and I mean ALL OF THEM - were closed.

So we went out of KL - up to the road near Batu Caves - but we couldn't find a single service centre ! We went even further - to Rawang - and all the car service centres were closed.

Finally, we found one, at the side of the road. Thing about that shop is that they know the other stores are closed. Instead of the normal RM5, they charged us like, RM10 ! They exploited the fact that almost all stores are closed for the Chinese New Year holidays.

Nyeah well, we got our tyre fixed.

Dad will be away from Sunday to Wednesday. If Narin's with us, well, at least I won't be alone. :)

__________________________________________________

Meanwhile, can you readers please do me a favour ? There's the post right below this, an MP3 draft of "Le Paradoxe", albeit with the quality of an AMR file. Please do listen to it, and comment on the post (shoutbox comments are welcome, but it'd be better if you guys could comment on the post itself). And do tell me what you think ! Just so you'd know, I wrote, played and sang that song. Recorded it on my phone and edited it with WavePad (but to little avail).

Just a tip to save you guys the trouble of searching for the lyrics : you see the Navbar above ? In the search box, type "Le Paradoxe" and click "Search Blog". All the answers for the query "Le Paradoxe" will be displayed, including the MP3 and the lyrics. The lyrics will be at the bottom of the page. So whilst you listen to the MP3, you may read the lyrics - well, to understand what I'm singing. And since that MP3 player is in autoplay mode, you'll be able to listen to it over and over again while reading the translation of the lyrics.

For the musically inclined, I'm sorry if you guys find that I have a tendency to go a microtone/semitone higher than usual. I know something sounds off towards the end. Rest assured that I'll train my voice more - so that this may not happen again.

Meanwhile, I know I shouldn't have put that player on Autoplay mode, because I feel like putting two more flash MP3 players right now - both containing different versions of the piece I was thinking of submitting for the ABRSM songwriting competition - Impromptu 8.27.

Falling... falling... into darkness.

I went to take a short nap at about 4:00 p.m., hoping that it'd be a short one.

I must've fallen into a really deep sleep - because when my grandma woke me up, it was 8:00 p.m. I was shocked.

Here I am, and it's about 9:00, and I'm trying to find out why I slept so long.

I was a bit tired.
But no - even then, I wouldn't go to the extent of sleeping for four hours.

I don't even know what I dreamt, because I know it wasn't a dreamless sleep. I seem to have loved the dream because I didn't wake up with a start.

Help me, Lord.

I'm falling... falling... into darkness.