Why I shall not do family law

DK and I met up for C2 preparations, yet again. He's adamant about getting a divorce. His wife didn't want to live with him and the kids anymore - I didn't probe any further into the case. Apparently he had trouble with his previous lawyer, who was good but talked him against divorcing.

That lawyer, like me, is a staunch Catholic Christian.
And this is the reason why I won't take up family law.

In some cases in family law, we unite, no doubt ; but in some, we break up families based on evidence. How sure are we that that evidence is always true ? This is the thing about the adversorial system - like the English legal system. Like ours.

And we Catholic Christians believe and abide by the rule that divorce is a sin.

Just to quote a passage from scripture (Mark 10:2-12) - the heading is "Jesus Teaches about Divorce" :

Some Pharisees came to Jesus and tried to trap him. "Tell us," they asked, "does our Law allow a man to divorce his wife?"

Jesus answered with a question, "What law did Moses give you ?"

Their answer was, "Moses gave permission for a man to write a divorce notice and send his wife away."

Jesus said to them, "Moses write this law for you because you are so hard to teach. But in the beginning, at the time of creation, 'God made them male and female,' as the scripture says. 'And for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one'. So they are no longer two, but one. Man must not separate, then, what God has joined together."

When they went back into the house, the disciples asked Jesus about this matter. He said to them, "A man who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against his wife. In the same way, a woman who divorces her husband and marries another man commits adultery."

Now, let us return to the dissolution of familes through family law.

From the wedding vows taken on the altar - "I, (name), take you (name), to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honour you all the days of my life," we can see how sacred marriage is, and how even more sacred the familial institution is.

If a postmarital breakup ensues, what happens to the part where spouses are supposed to be true to each other at all times ? What happens to the part where spouses are supposed to love each other all the days of their lives ?

Simply put, a divorce is a breakage of marital vows taken before God, it is a movement of disunity, it is a lack of forgiveness and patience (as in most cases where breakups end in animosity), it is a loss of trust and prudence, it could be the shirking of a responsibility (as in the case of a spouse leaving the children altogether) - a complicated mixture of sins - and the very fact that vows are broken enhances the sinful nature of divorce.

Even if I'm one of those who don't interpret the Bible literally (I interpret it in a humanitarian way like most Christians do), I believe this statement holds truth - and I've seen with my very own eyes how this actually happens.

I would not want to drive the children to resentment seeing their father and mother living in separate houses, not talking to each other, when both parents know the children need their love.

I would not want to see more animosity in the courtroom because adversorial proceedings are very heated - in fact, more heated than inquisitorial proceedings. Anger gives way to anger and hate gives way to even more hate, creating a scene in the courtroom. And if anger and hate are supreme, it'll lead the two disputing spouses to sin even more. Anger is one of those mortal sins which we are all guilty of ; and if we're angry because we thirst for what is right - that is a different case in itself. Here, we see anger and hate in the dissolution of a familial institution.

I would not want to see some kids bear the hardship of living with bad stepmothers/stepfathers. I know one of my Form 5 classmates lived with divorced parents and well, let's just put it this way : life is hell.

I would not want to be held responsible for a scene where the children have actually grown up and realised that their parents did not honour their vows to be with each other. Oh, I've seen some of these parent-child disputes before. Some of them can be deadly.

See, I just don't get it. That lawyer of his is a Catholic Christian and is doing family law. If she actually decided to take it up and make it her forte, she should know the temptations which come along with it - like divorce proceedings, for example. If we believe that what God has joined, man shall not divide ; if we believe in the sacrament of holy matrimony, if we believe that our mission is to unite and not disunite, then it is best not to even step into the domain of family law ! She has skills of advocacy ; she can always delve into another domain !

Dad advised me against family law. I will heed that advice. And then again, if my musical mission is to unite people around the world, it'll do me no justice if I delve into family law and be responsible for separating people through my rhetoric - and, it'll also put me out of favour with God.

Having said this, I pray God that when the time comes, I'll find the right one - I know there is a right one - and I will love and honour him all the days of my life, just as mom honoured and loved dad all the days of her life.