In one corner in KL, a seventeen-year-old boy named Arthur Kam, whose talents were tapped when he was a kid, went on to win the Undiscovered Drummer Contest by the Modern Drummer magazine. He celebrates his win, he performs for stars locally and abroad, he sheds, he prays, he bonds with his siblings and he goes on to be the best he can be. His shed session pictures and a full tabloid article on him are there, published for the whole of Malaysia to see, while he has a bright future ahead for the whole world to see.
In another secluded corner in KL, a seventeen-year-old girl named troisnyx*, who has always yearned to play well, and has always prayed that she may be Jesus' drummer girl, loses her mother, sits down to watch the videos behind Arthur Kam's win, and goes to her lonely room, where she picks up her drumsticks and attempts to play, hoping to be the best she can be. Her future is uncertain, and whatever ideas she has are always rejected by the populace.
But I suppose a dream is just a dream.
When I had finished changing, I called Aunty Sharm just to tell her when I'd be returning to the Sunset Band. And, I do not know what led me to grab enough courage to say this, but I did - half crying, I asked her for at least one drum part. For the most part, I am fed up of doing the same rhythms over and over again. I want to do my thing. And only those who are good get to personalise their drumming. I spent about one hour playing the drums, and in between, searching through the Bible to find words of wisdom. Every beat of the drum just got to me, and I didn't cry anymore that evening.
See, I saw Arthur Kam's videos. I can only dream of playing that well. Among the five Sunset Band drummers - Uncle Cyril, Clement, Daniel C, Chrishandra and me, I'm the worst. Worst in terms of starting time and techniques. Whatever I know, I just grappled it on my own. I want to play them well. I told mom that while she was alive. Apart from God, she is the only person to whom I can tell that kind of stuff - no one else in the family will understand. That passion for music brought mom and me together, and yes, it is no wonder why we were so close. I told her how much I yearned to play well. She wanted to sign me up for lessons (because ultimately, when it comes to rudiments and stuff, all drummers need some form of guidance). But she couldn't. I guess I can excuse her. She tried.
I am stuck here. I will never know if mom is proud of me.
When will the sun shine down on me ?
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