Shed session

Boom. Rat tat tat. Crash. Ba-boom. Gak. Pitter-patter-pitter-patter. Ta-rum tum tum. Da-dum. Ding. Ba-boom. Crash. Boom.

Finally, a shed session which lasted for one whole hour. After one long walk in the pasar malam, Narin and I returned home, and while she took her bath, I went to the common room...... and flailed away on the drums. Again. And this time, I really enjoyed myself ! Ever since the 19th of April (when I first began practising at home), I never felt like this before. And I wonder why.
I did not know how to put this in words...... all I can say is that I prayed before I began training. I was like, Lord, please, use my hands. Holy Spirit, please use my heart and my hands as I play, let these beats heal. And then, I began. The door was closed, the fan was on (as I was still sweating) and I was just anticipating the first beat. And then, from my tired right foot, it came.

Boom.

So many things were crossing my mind as I played. My broken dreams, the angels who sent me back home for the past few months, Chrishandra's long but powerful message which I received weeks ago, my past practices, my complicated self...... I just felt lost. And then... I felt this warmth. This confidence. I do not know how to put it. It must be Him. Blow after blow, my hands were in His hands. I just wanted to keep on beating. Out of curiosity, mom opened the door, only to see a little girl (how ironic !) close her eyes and bang away. And these words were ringing in my head from the first beat,

Don't sell yourself short.

Chrishandra's words. The same words which inspired me the other time.

I did not feel like an amateur anymore that day. No, I did not take myself for a professional, because I am not. I just felt... I was His drummer girl. The same feeling that I had in this weary heart for years. And I hope to guard that feeling in my heart for years to come.