Heartbeat

"I could never explain this passion for the drums, or the urge to beat out the rhythm, ever since I was young. I was just too shy to tell anyone, even my parents. No one ever came to know about the tiny heart pounding inside my chest every time the drums were beaten. No one knew that I enjoyed banging on my pillows when I was small. Everyone was just oblivious. Or, if they ever knew, they would shun me simply because I'm a girl. Truly, the only person who truly heard my first rhythms, and loved them, was Jesus.

The sound, the energy, it was just so....... familiar. Deep inside, I hope Mom understands, if I tell her.

I've always wanted to get as close as possible to Mom's heartbeat. At least, I remember the sound of her heart pounding, giving me life, while I was still inside her. I'd never want to lose this moment forever ! Somehow, beating the drum - especially a bass-toned one - reminds me of that familiar sound - her heartbeat. No matter how the rhythm goes, the pulsation is still there ; again, that pulsation gives me life, and makes my heart race. And, no matter where she is, I know that she'll always be there for me - her heartbeat inspires my drumbeats and makes me remember her presence.

Wow. God makes things so sublime.

Deep inside, I believe that God has given me this gift - or else why would I have wanted to play the drums for so many years ? If only she could feel how I feel."

I could not help listening to the same beat for more than seven times. I couldn't help thinking about this when I was clearing up my room last night. Something compelled me to beat out the rhythm once again. I took my 5As - the same pair of sticks Daniel gave me on the day before Valentine's - and started banging away on my bed (I don't have a drum kit, and even if I want one for my 17th birthday, chances are that I may not get it !). I just couldn't stop banging ! I prayed, that He would calm my raging sea.

Now Narin is telling me that even she wants to play the drums too.

It all happened like this : Uncle Erik told Narin that he would not be playing for Easter (or was that the line ?). Something compelled her to say, "I'll play in your place."

Imagine, me and Narin sharing a heartbeat ! I know I shouldn't be thinking too much about this but......... wow, the thought of us pounding out the same rhythm together, that is bliss.