Help me. My heart's sinking.

Today's Literature class was not less enjoyable than the rest of them. And today, we gave Ms Sunbeam her birthday surprise (her birthday fell on Sunday the 7th).

So again we were doing King Lear and I was horrified at the way Lear was treated by his ungrateful daughters Gonerill and Regan. I was just horrified, to say the least. We all shared a thought, and Ms Sunbeam brought it up during class : there are people who, as they grow older, show less respect for their parents. They deem them to be a cumbersome lot.

This episode in class brought me back to the time where mom and I were in the car waiting for dad. I was (I think) six - never mind about the age, I knew I was a child back then. And she asked me, "Will you take care of me when I get old ?" And I said, "Yes, mama. I will take care of you. It's a promise. And even if you're old, you're still not old to me. You're just a good thirty years older than me, that's all."

I never got the chance to take care of her.
(only in hospital, but then again, that's nothing like taking care of her in her old age)

I suppose no one saw me weeping in class.

And even as I write this post the tears are flowing.

Sometimes I feel mom was so right when she wrote on the paper, "You only have each other." With this overflow of emotion, I'm pretty sure that almost no one will understand me.

I know that around me there can be a host of people telling me to stop crying, or perhaps a greater number of people who'll turn round and ask me "What's wrong with you ?" or throw insults at me alleging that I'm immature. But insult or no insult, I feel that my entire life is an insult now. Because the very person whom I cherished all these years is gone.

Dear Lord, help me. If in the event that I feel like uttering a string of swearwords in my immense anger and sorrow over what has happened, please come to my aid.

At the time of writing troisnyx* is in the computer lab, not really alone (there're three other people in the front row). But prithee, if you do come across this post, do something to cheer her up. She's heartsick.