I put aside my differences.

I read Narin's notes on media representation of (American) society (heck, this could just as well apply everywhere else) and it read - never mind about the grammatical mistakes, if there're any :

Race may determine how one identifies with the nation. We are seen by race first and often judged automatically by that external classification, making it difficult for people that are termed “minority” to change how others initially see them. Racial categories are a mess of descriptive efforts ; assignments are made by linguistics, heritage, cultural affiliation, and biological references. Sometimes, it seems that we, as individuals, especially minorities, identify with what our race is supposed to identify with. Since we are so heavily classified, we just give in and accept that we are being categorised. We forget that race is not an absolute; an individual’s own sense of racial identity can even shift over the course of a lifetime, as can the labels assigned by the government, or by other elements of society. We should not feel forced to identify in a certain way because of racial categories, especially since the society that we feel we need to identify with is constantly changing those categorisations. Minorities’ identification with the nation are contingent on both how they feel others (society) see them and their own ethnic backgrounds (beliefs, values, etc.).

To be honest, I put aside my racial differences a while ago. Biologically, I'm half Punjabi, half Tamil, and I've got some Malayalee descent in me (but that's aside for now). I was never involved in any particular cultural society during my school years because I wanted to be among different people with a particular interest or cause. Heck, when I sang "Toc de Mac" in last year's Indian Cultural Society gathering (because they wanted me to sing), they were disappointed. What I sang would've been celebrated more if there were many different people.

I've never regarded myself as Punjabi or Indian, but when it came to people asking me about my descent I tell them "I'm a mongrel Indian". And in 2005, one year after I began my French classes, I started to have the soul of a French youth (that too, figuratively speaking). I'm not like most of my kind, if I ever do have a group of people I can identify with - I don't fancy Bollywood movies (unless of course, there're good ones around - like Jab We Met for example), I don't understand the buzz behind Priyanka Chopra and Simran and their likes unless I watch Koffee with Karan, and I'm one of the unconventional few who listen to all kinds of music (while the majority would listen to English songs, Malay songs perhaps, and songs of their mother tongue). Despite my descent, I can't speak fluently in any of my mother tongues. I'm grappling with Punjabi (and had I taken it during PMR, I'd have gotten a D !) and trying to make myself understood, whilst for Tamil, I can only put two and two together and understand what people say, I can conjure occasional phrases, but I can't converse. I don't even understand a word of Malayalam.

I don't even care about my descent. And even if dad keeps reminding me to be careful about the risks I take because I'm part of the minority, I don't give a f*. At the end of the day, they're not gonna know troisnyx* for her descent, they're not gonna know her for her origins, but rather, they're gonna know her for her ability to reach out to the marginalised, and to touch people's hearts with her music. Oh, and perhaps her linguistic ability and anything else people want to discover. I am Malaysian, and that's all that matters. And if God forbid, worse comes to worst and I have to leave this place, deep down inside, I'm Malaysian-born, and that's how people will describe me.